Having open and clear communication is essential for any relationship. Oftentimes, these conversations are not easy and can get heated pretty quickly. Luckily, there are certain things you can do to center yourself and stay grounded so you can have a calm and productive conversation. Let’s talk about the three things to do when you’re entering an emotional conversation.

1. Listen 

We often spend the time someone is talking thinking about what we’ll say next. Instead, clear your mind and focus on what the other person has to say. You might not agree with their perspective and that is okay. By listening, we give them space to share their story without interruption. 

2. Make eye contact 

As you are talking, keep your eyes soft and make eye contact. This conveys understanding and attention.

3. Provide empathy

Say things like: 

• That makes sense to me.

• That sounds so hard!

• I know you’re frustrated.

• Tell me more about that.

4. Summarize what he/she/they said

You can even write down what they said to help you summarize. Repeat back what you heard them say and offer a bit of validation. Here’s an example:

“I heard you say that you're feeling stressed about work and that is the reason you responded the way you did on the phone. That makes sense to me. I can see how deadlines would make you feel on edge.”

Know that this takes practice. It’s okay if you don’t get this perfect on the first try. The most important thing is that you are making a conscious effort to stay grounded and be responsible for your own behaviors and words. It’s possible to change -- remember that!