Marriage Counseling

You never dreamed it would come to this. Yelling, screaming, name calling, and crying–all over a fight. You and your partner repeat the same fight over and over again. You are caught in a repeating cycle of shouting and spending hours or even days acting coldly or bitter toward each other. You want more in your life. Your marriage feels like the marriage your parents had, except you know you can’t make it a lifetime with this misery.

You go weeks without sex, spend your days working, shuttling kids to various activities, and it seems you have nothing in common anymore. People think you have the perfect marriage, perfect family, and perfect life. You feel immense shame at the thought of people seeing through you; seeing your problems for what they are and your imperfect marriage. You worry that if you divorce, you will be left with nothing, and you worry about how splitting your family will create the same nightmare childhood you experienced after your own parents’ divorce. 

You worry that coming to marriage counseling will be hours spent enduring your partner’s criticism while a third party sits and watches. You can’t imagine talking about the lack of sex, anger, and disappointment, but you also have immense hope that seeking help could change your marriage. You want things to change, and you’re done with this cycle of anger and blame. You wish you could trust your partner to be there for you, no matter what, and trust that they love you. 

If things don’t change, you know your marriage will end in divorce. You will be left alone, splitting your time with the kids, struggling to make ends meet on one income. You will resent your partner, left to co-parent with someone you hate. 

I help couples who struggle with communication and the angry cycles that lead to divorce. I provide marriage counseling and premarital counseling and help couples reignite passion and intimacy. I understand the problems that women face in the bedroom, and together we work to help you experience fulfilling and exciting sexual intimacy. You will learn skills that help you cope and identify patterns that increase anxiety and anger and impair your ability to connect with your partner. 

LGBTQIA Couples Counseling

I believe that love is love, I am collaborative and affirming, and provide LGBTQIA couples counseling online and at my offices in San Marcos and Cypress, Texas. You want someone who gets you, and is comfortable discussing your relationship, sex, and intimacy and understands that your relationship is unique with its own set of problems and strengths.

My Approach

We create a structured plan for managing conflict and creating emotional and sexual intimacy. I don’t take sides, and never let partners sit and berate each other during session. I am calm and direct, and help couples untangle their complex relationship patterns. We will work together to improve communication, learn to fight fairly, and avoid relationship pitfalls that lead to “four horsemen of the apocalypse”: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. I have specialized training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy.

We set straight to work, and I expect my clients to participate fully in the session and exercise what they learn at home. I hold my couples accountable during the process while offering encouragement and support. I will help you implement this plan in the upcoming months and support your progress as you find your way back to intimacy and love.

Schedule your free 20-minute phone consultation to start marriage counseling in San Marcos or Cypress, and find your way back to love, with less conflict and more passion.

    
Rebecca Ray's profile on the Gottman Referral Network
Gottman Approved Member
    

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