4 Relationship Tips I Share With My Clients

 
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Today, I’m going to share four relationship tips that I share with my clients. We’re going to talk about making repairs, the importance of talking about sex, making requests, expressing needs, and managing conflict. Okay, let’s get to it!

Tip #1: REPAIR AFTER CONFLICT

Couple conflict often includes the 4 horsemen: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. This unhealthy cycle repeats itself and creates distancing and isolation. Couples quit talking about the problem and can even ignore each other for hours or days after the fight. Resentments build and slowly erode the couple's bond.

If you are caught in this cycle, stop. Your relationship can be different. A qualified couples therapist will help you learn effective communication tools that will build empathy and understanding. Learn to repair and communicate effectively after conflict, so it doesn’t fester and become more and more painful. 

Tip #2: Talk about sex before, during, and after sex. 

Talk about what you like/liked, what intrigued you, what interests you, and communicate your needs. Everyone is different and clear communication is the key to fulfilling sexual intimacy. 

Tip #3: Spend quality time together every day!

Spending quality time together each day is an important part of maintaining a strong and healthy relationship bond. Emotional intimacy is the key to long-lasting passion and romance. 

Here are some ideas for day-to-day quality time:

  • Take a walk or hike together

  • Have an events- of-the-day discussion

  • Cook dinner together

  • Cuddle on the couch

  • Listen to an audiobook together

  • Do a group workout class together

  • Talk to each other during your commute home by phone (hands-free, of course!)

  • Do house chores together (cleaning is more fun with a friend!)

  • Find a show you both like and watch it together

Have fun with each other! This helps keep your relationship alive and well 💗

Tip #4: Give your partner loving attention in everyday moments.

Examples include:

  • Make the coffee and pour a cup for your partner.

  • Invite them to take a walk with you.

  • Tell them about headlines you read in the news and discuss.

  • Offer to pick up food, help them cook, or clean up the kitchen.

  • Offer to give them time alone to work, engage in self-care, or tackle a project.

  • Stick a love note in their lunchbox.

  • Invite them to watch a movie with you, and let them pick the movie.

  • Fill up the car with gas or clean it out as a surprise for your partner.

  • Ask your partner about their hopes and dreams and really listen.

Keep asking questions, listen to each other, turn towards your partner and offer love day after day after day. 💕 

 
 
 
Rebecca Ray