How to ask for help
Asking for help is an act of self-love. We’re social beings who need other people to survive and thrive. Being honest with ourselves about the fact that we could use an extra hand is brave, vulnerable, AND necessary when it comes to living our lives to the fullest.
If you tend to have a difficult time asking for help, I’ve got you covered. Let’s go over some tips:
Become aware of the beliefs you have about asking for help
Somewhere in our lives, many of us picked up the memo that asking for help is a weakness and we should be “independent” and figure things out on our own.
Ask yourself: “what do I think of people who ask for help?” “What do I think about myself when I ask for help?” “How does asking for help make me feel?”
Get honest with yourself about any limiting beliefs about what it means to ask – and receive – support. Consider journaling about this or speaking with a therapist to dive deeper into this.
2. Practice with the little things
Start small. When you’re carrying lots of groceries and you’re struggling to open the door, ask someone to please open it for you. When someone in your home gets up to grab a glass of water for themselves, ask if they’d bring one over for you too.
Begin practicing with the little things so that you train your “asking for help” muscle. Celebrate your wins.
3. When someone asks you if you need help, accept it.
If a friend asks you if you need anything when they’re at the grocery store, consider taking them up on their offer. Most times, it makes people feel good to provide support – and it also gives them permission to go to you if they ever need anything.
Think about when you’ve done something for someone else. Maybe it’s when you’ve opened a door, called a friend to check in when they’re sick, or drove a pal to the airport. How does it make you feel?
Accepting help builds connection and trust. Give others the opportunity to show up for you – and then do the same for them.
4. When someone says no, let that be okay.
Asking for help does not mean demanding help. When you ask for help, you are giving the other person the option to say no. And that it is okay for them to do so. You’re doing your part by asking for what you need, and their response is on them.
Likewise, if someone asks you for something and it doesn’t feel right to you, you have full autonomy to say no as well.
Practice honoring your boundaries and also respect when others share theirs.
5. Practice gratitude
We all want to feel appreciated and acknowledged. When you receive help or support from someone, a simple heartfelt “thank you” can be incredibly meaningful. Show others that you truly appreciate their help and value their presence in your life.
When it comes to mental health, asking for help is not only important – it’s necessary. We’re not meant to do life all on our own. When we white knuckle our way through challenges, resistant to being supported by anyone else, it’s a recipe for burnout and exhaustion.
Asking for help is a beautiful act of caring for yourself. It can inspire others to do the same for themselves. If you want to become better at asking for help and improving your life in a meaningful way, reach out to our team at Ray Family Therapy. We would be honored to be a part of your journey.