How to improve your self-confidence

Self-confidence is more than just thinking highly of yourself. It’s having a sense of who you are, understanding the innate value you bring to the world just by being you, and knowing what you value. 

If you’re struggling with self-confidence, you are far from alone. Many of us deal with self-confidence issues but don’t talk about them openly.  In today’s blog post, I’ll be sharing some of the key things I share with my clients who come to me with self-confidence woes. 

Honor where you currently are 

When a child is learning how to walk, we don’t expect them to perfect it from day one. We celebrate the little wins and encourage them to keep going. 

Practice this with yourself. Please don’t put outlandish expectations on where you should be in life and shame yourself for not being where you want to be. 

Offer yourself some compassion and honor where you are in life, knowing that there are always opportunities for growth.

Reflect on where you are and how far you’ve come

Think about where you are right now in your life and identify 3 ways that you’ve grown over the past year. Seeing how far you’ve already come helps show yourself the possibilities of future growth. Take a minute to acknowledge the ways you’ve shown up for your life and made yourself proud.

Try something new 

Challenge yourself! If you’re feeling stagnant about your personal growth, one of the best ways to gain self-confidence is to put yourself in new situations and show yourself that you are capable of more than you thought. 

Say “yes” to new situations that could offer a possibility for learning something new about yourself. Consider taking improv or a public speaking course (like Toastmasters). Join your friend for that yoga class they’ve been telling you about. Accept that invitation to your neighbor’s Sunday barbeque. Stay open! 

Put yourself in new situations and see where it leads you. 

Ask the people in your life what they value about you

Sometimes, we need to borrow confidence from those around us. Ask people who you trust what they value about you. Getting an outside perspective can be incredibly helpful when it comes to seeing yourself clearly. 

Consider keeping track of their responses and putting it in a folder on your computer or the notes section of your phone. Come back to this when you’re doubting yourself. Remember the belief that others have in you and your abilities.

Make small goals every day and accomplish them.

These could be as simple as making your bed, calling someone you haven’t talked to in a long time, washing dishes, or going for a walk. 

Give yourself 4 or 5 small tasks each day and actually finish them. You’ll feel more confident and build trust in yourself. You’ll start showing yourself that you are someone who sticks to your word and can successfully complete what you set out to. 

Don’t compare.

It’s easy to compare yourself to others. This is natural. Remember that social media is typically only showing the highlight reels and warps our sense of what people are actually experiencing. 

Comparison and beating yourself up for where you “should” be in life just depletes your energy and lowers your self-confidence. 

Instead, remember that you are on your own path and there is no right or wrong way to do life. Trust the timing of your own journey.