The Journey of Recovery From Miscarriage & Perinatal Loss - Tips for Moving Forward and Finding Hope

Loss of a pregnancy or any baby loss can be an intensely difficult and heartbreaking experience. No one should ever have to go through such hardship alone. If you are experiencing a miscarriage or any other form of perinatal loss and feeling sad, lost, and unsure who to ask for support -- this is for you. I invite you to pour yourself a cup of tea, sit somewhere quiet, cry if need or want, and know that you aren’t alone in your loss.

Give yourself permission to grieve

The journey to recovery from miscarriage or perinatal loss can be a long one, and it looks different for everyone. That’s why it is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of a pregnancy. It is okay to feel whatever emotions come up as you navigate this difficult time: sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, pain, and even relief. Try to be kind to yourself throughout the process and allow yourself time to heal. You won’t always be in this difficult place, and it’s important to give yourself the space to feel what you need to feel.

Lean on your loved ones

It's easy to isolate yourself during times of hardship, but it’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. Don't be afraid to reach out for help and support from those closest to you -- family, friends, partners, or even a supportive online community. Just having someone to talk to can be a great source of solace. You can also communicate with others who have experienced a similar loss. Connecting with people who understand what you’re going through can be an invaluable source of emotional support.

Take care of yourself

Physical self-care is just as important as emotional self-care after experiencing loss. Do your best to stay hydrated, eat balanced meals, and take care of your body. You may also find comfort in relaxation techniques like deep breathing or yoga. Even if it’s hard to focus on taking care of yourself while grieving, try to remember that you deserve love and respect -- both from yourself and others.

Be patient with yourself

Healing doesn't happen overnight. It may take weeks, months, or even years to move past the grief and pain of a miscarriage or perinatal loss. Be kind to yourself and don’t expect immediate healing. It will come in waves. Some days will be easier than others. The only way out is through.

Consider opening up about your experience

Miscarriage is the most commonly occurring perinatal loss, impacting 15-25% of all pregnancies and 25% of all pregnant women. That means that you, or someone you love likely experienced at least one miscarriage. But guess what? They probably didn’t tell you about it. Miscarriage is one of the best-kept secrets in our society. As a result, many of us feel isolated and alone in our grief.

Telling your story can be healing; not only for you but also for the people around you. You may find that sharing your experience with those closest to you allows them to connect with you on a deeper level and provide better support during this difficult time.

Express your pain

Finding ways to express and release that pain, such as through art or music, can provide moments of respite throughout this difficult process. Invite the pain in, explore it, and express it. It’s okay. This is part of the healing process.

Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion and reframing your thoughts are important practices during the journey of recovery from miscarriage & perinatal loss. It’s easy to be hard on yourself and internalize feelings of failure, but it is essential to remember that these experiences are often out of our control. Learning to be kind and gentle with yourself can help you to process painful emotions healthily. Finding compassion for yourself through this journey can help bring light into moments of darkness and provide hope in the future. Giving yourself grace and understanding in this process is a compassionate way to move forward.

Manage your triggers

Acknowledging the emotions and gravity of this loss helps to honor the life that was lost. It is also important to recognize potential triggers and plan ahead for how to cope with them healthily. It might be a good idea to take a break from social media or limit your time on it. Set boundaries with yourself and those around you, and don’t be afraid to say no when necessary.

Talk with a professional

If you feel like your grief isn’t getting any easier, it may be helpful to talk with a mental health professional. A therapist can provide valuable insight into your feelings and experiences, as well as offer additional tips and strategies for finding peace. At Ray Family Therapy, we offer therapy specifically for miscarriage and perinatal loss.

Additionally, EMDR therapy is incredibly helpful when it comes to processing the trauma of a miscarriage or perinatal loss. There are therapeutic tools available to help your nervous system move through this grief and trauma so that you can access joy and hope in life again.

Remember that your experience matters

Your journey through pregnancy and loss is unique, and its importance should not be underestimated. It’s okay to talk about your experience openly, even if it’s uncomfortable or hard to do so at first. It's also easy to diminish your experience and compare it to others. Please do your best to remember that your journey through pregnancy and loss is valid and important.

Finding hope again isn’t easy, but it is possible. Take the time to heal and be patient with yourself. Reach out to those around you for support. Find joy in small moments, even if it doesn't feel like much right now. You are stronger than you think, and it's okay to lean on others as you move through this journey.

With time and compassion, the pain of a miscarriage or perinatal loss can be transformed into something meaningful. You can come out stronger on the other side of grief. We are here for you.